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Apparently the French never learn to hug Platonically. The whole cheek kissing business makes it completely unnecessary.
(As an aside, there's a very complicated system of cheek-kissing in France. The number varies from region to region, e.g. it's two on each cheek for Parisians but less in most other places. This leads to one French person wanting to continue kissing the other and having to explain, "C'est quatre chez moi.")
Yesterday was Cindy's birthday so last night we had a few friends over for a little get together (featuring a Toblerone cheesecake, a punch bowl full of sangria and many empty bottles). The other reason for the party was that a friend was leaving town. So at the end of the night there were a few goodbye hugs. That's when Cindy remembered that she didn't know how to hug. One friend, as she was preparing to leave, went and hugged Cindy goodbye/happy birthday and in response Cindy placed her hands on the friend's bum! (I did see this and wondered a little but, you know, girls will be girls!)
Coming to her senses and realising that she might be sending the wrong message, she had to observe others hugging and note how the arms are held (above the waist).
Now it's causing her a bit of concern but she can't go around refusing people's affections or she'll offend people (like some Jews and Muslims do when they won't shake hand with the opposite sex). So I have advised her to just avoid the hugs altogether and surprise the Americans by greeting them with kisses on the cheek. I'm looking forward to seeing how that goes over.
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1 comment:
Well, darling chéri, the problem is not that my hands end up on the bums of the people I hug. The problem really is the fact that I hate this custom of yours (Anglo-Saxons) in which we have to put our bodies next to each other with people we do not know intimately. How DISGUSTING!
So every time I see this traumatising event coming, I start crying in my head "Oh no, not again!" and I try not to do a disgusted face when an invisible force pushes me toward the person smiling and opening (usually) her harms.
So when my body, inevitably, gets in contact with the other one, it's in a rigid position with the arms by my sides and my eyes strongly shut. I really don't want to see that!
And then people hug me. YUCK!!! And I usually keep my hand floating in mid air until they release me from this platonic harassment.
But when it's a good friend, I feel bad keeping my hands in mid-air, so I try to target their waist as hand landing site.
Apparently, I'm not very good with this target, the 3 times I've tried, I've ended where you said (I believe because my hand are already rigidly floating in mid air next to this area).
Next time I'll have to target the shoulders, it seems to have worked with the second person I had to hug yesterday.
But I hope that with the reputation you're giving me, people will be afraid to hug me now.
I really hate hugging!
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